in honor of tomorrow being thanksgiving, I want to talk about being married during the holidays.
no, you didn’t miss anything. I’m not married yet.
[J] & I have been living together for three years. and when the holiday season rolls around, we struggle to decide where we’ll spend thanksgiving & christmas. [it does not help that we procrastinate as much as humanly possible before making said decision]. my family lives in central iowa. [J]’s are in chicago, IL. there is a 6 hour drive between the two houses, making it
nearly impossible to spend one holiday with both families.
[*editor’s note: parents &
soon-to-be in-laws, could you please move closer together?].
our holiday experiments [thus far]:
we’ve attempted the “divide and conquer” approach. // he goes to his family’s + I go to mine. although effective, I’m less than a fan. accommodating both families, splits up [J] & I. and that stinks. I
want would prefer to spend the holidays together.
we’ve tried the “one big happy family” strategy. // which I loved, but of course had to have a downfall. this is when my parents came to chicago, and we all celebrated together. the problem was a lot of my family was unable to attend. [we’re talking brother + grandparents]. so while it was nice to be with my parent’s & [J]’s, I was missing a huge chunk of my family.
we braved the “we’ll celebrate here & drive to you” theory. // last year my parent’s had plans to travel to colorado the day after christmas, to have a late-celebration with our family out there. so [J] & I spent christmas with his family, and snuck out a tad early to drive to iowa at 9PM. [we arrived at 2AM, exhausted, and left for CO 3 hours later]. it was nice to spend a lot of time with both families, but it still wasn’t the solution we were hoping for.
so due to extreme procrastination, we’ll be going with option #1 this thanksgiving. but have declared it our last straw. from now on, we will orchestrate our holiday plans well in advance. and communicate with our families so they know when to expect us. I hate to use the word ‘fair’ because it’s so hard to truly achieve ..but we want to make it as fair as possible for each of us & our families.
why doesn’t anyone tell you that adding a family isn’t all extra turkey & christmas cookies, but rather complicated.
cheers to an amazing holiday season & celebrating with as many family members as you possibly can.