writer’s block.

I’ve been trying to write this post all day long. but every time I start ..it’s not quite right.

go away writer’s block. you’re not wanted.

it seems whenever I have a lot on my mind/a lot to say ..nothing comes out.

so forgive me in advance, this may be a bit jumbled [like the current state of my brain].

here goes nothing ..

there’s no other way to say it ..I have been stressed lately. the kind of stress that leads to random bursts of tears. unemployment sucks. and occasionally, it gets the best of me. I have been so fortunate to have a lot of support [from [J], our families, & friends]. but it wears on you ..feeling like you’re stuck in one place. time for a change, my friends.

[J]’s mom scheduled me a 50 minute massage for tomorrow morning. hallelujah!

also tomorrow, [J] & I are road tripping to des moines for the weekend. for the heck of it, kind of. [to be revealed, all in due time].

as for today ..

beginning of bookclub [J] & I spent some time at barnes & noble. and ..I officially started thee book club book – {the end of your life book club} by will schwalbe. I’m 100 pages in. so far, so inspiring.

we also purchased {the happiness project}. I think now is the perfect time to welcome this book into my life.

and last but not least ..

[J] bought {Blog Inc.} for me!!!!!!!!!!

blog incI could not be more excited. besides the [major] blogging benefits this book will bring to LLinaBC – it means [J] doesn’t mind waiting to eat, until I get the perfect picture. and he’s ok proofreading every single night. [thank you babe!].

on the first page ..

“..while everyone wants to know the secret to blogging success, the common denominator is to have a genuine & passionate voice that readers can connect with”. from grace @ {design*sponge}.

I hope that is what readers get when they read my words. but just in case, I have vowed, to myself & to my blog, to share even more. although occasionally reluctant to share my trials & tribulations ..I’ve never received anything but kind & supportive words. plus it helps to write ..and hey, maybe I’ll help one other person going through a similar situation. [it’d all be worth it].

thank you. that helped.

now that it is 11:00PM ..goodnight!

see you tomorrow for “the week in photos”.

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when life’s got you down.

warning:

this is a “loaded” post.

I’m usually a 50/50 picture to word blogger. but I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, and I had two choices – post nothing OR post a wordy, heartfelt post. I choose the latter, obviously.

I never know how to start these dang things.

how about here – this is not a pity party. looks can be deceiving! :)

I don’t know if I’ve made it obvious, through my blog, but “chapter chicago” has not gone as planned. and by planned, I mean securing a real job, finding a place to call ours, and moving forward. I kind of feel as though I’ve been stuck on the world’s fastest ferris wheel. time is without a doubt moving, at a rapid pace. but I don’t feel as though I’m going anywhere. making any progress. I’m just going ’round & ’round & ’round. which is incredibly frustrating.

it’s hard not to doubt yourself. your abilities.. your intelligence.. your worth, when you have a beautiful, well-earned diploma and very little to show for it. [besides a monthly student loan payment. rudeeeee]. it’s hard not to be stressed, to throw nightly pity parties ..but I can’t don’t. I use phrases like “this is only temporary,” “things will get better,” “we can only go up from here“. they work-ish, but in the back of my mind, I’m always thinking, “how do I get myself out of this shit show?” [just being honest].

but thankfully, this month is the month to give thanks. so after that slightly depressing unload, let’s change the pace.

thank you [J]. you are my rock. if we can get through this, we can get through anything. you make the difficult times seems so much easier. thank you [J]’s parents. I often wonder how we will ever repay you for the generosity you have shown us through these tough times. I haven’t come up with anything ..yet! thank you mom & dad. I’m really glad you believe the job of parenting never ends, because if you didn’t ..I would’ve proved you wrong. your support means the WORLD TO ME, especially at age 25. I’m so blessed. thank you family & friends. now is really hard for me. and sometimes I rather keep to myself than talk. but please know, I appreciate all of you. just being there. supporting me ..through the good times & bad.

yes, I cried writing that. hot dang.

I’ll leave you with this ..a beautiful quote I think fits perfectly ..

{source}

we’re all just learning how to sail our ships ♥

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the greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests.” – epictetus

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cheers to overcoming the hard times. always being there for your friends & family. and never giving up.

cheers to good news.

life isn’t all peaches & pies.

and thank god it’s not.

______________________

do I love going through ‘hard times‘?

HECK NO.

do I love when I’m able to wave goodbye to those said ‘hard times‘?

HECK YES.

and folks, I’m a wavin’ :)

________________________

after 3 months of intense job searching…

I am off to the land of employment!!

[beginning wednesday].

{source}

I could not be more thankful for my family, friends, & [J] for being so supportive throughout this time. job searching stinks [no, I’m not a 4 year old ..it was ‘stinks’ or something much worse]. the more no’s I heard, the more I wanted to scream “good I didn’t want you either“. but I just kept on chugging along. I hoped knew the right thing would come around at the right time.

and oh my goodness: could this opportunity have come at a better time? no.

I had enough lessons [all valuable]. and my bank account had enough abuse.

I am so, so excited to begin my new position. earn a paycheck again. meet new people. get back in the groove. be in the heart of downtown chicago.

is there anything I’m not excited about? waking up at 5AM.

yikes.

any “how to wake up early & not be miserable tips ..I am here with open ears! lay ‘em on me!

I will share more details & photos once I get into the swing of things :)

happy monday.