believe it or not, I have never watched the bachelor. I may have seen 5 minutes of an episode the very first season. but c’mon, does that count? no. unfortunately, I feel it is my duty, as a born + raised iowan, to watch chris soules. he’s from a tiny iowa town, one hour away from the one I grew up in. [*it’s important to note, my iowa town is way bigger. we’re talking almost 70,000 people bigger]. and by watching one full episode, I was inspired to write ..
5 reasons I won’t do the bachelor.
[besides the fact that I’m married].
and by “do,” I mean the show. not the man, for those of you with your mind’s in the gutter.
1. oh, the limo introductions. 99.8% of them make me cringe. like crawl under the covers + hide. so awkward. and I would totally be within that category of awkward intro’s.
2. I’d be the token drunk girl on the first night. 30 girls in 1 hour, fighting for 1 man’s attention. given mere hours [or an hour, does anyone really know?] to make a strong impression + earn a rose. it could just be me, but uncomfortable situations tend to increase my alcohol intake. this situation would top that list.
3. the same reason I was never in a sorority, I could not live with that many girls in one house. I don’t know that for sure, because I never tried. but I could imagine it’d be a struggle .. #CloggedDrains.
4. who likes sloppy
seconds thirds fourths fifths sixths? and so on.
5. moving to a farm in iowa.
hell no! as previously, mentioned I am an iowan. I had a short stint spent living away, but I came back because I truly love it here. I support + appreciate iowa’s farmers; they truly do feed the world. but if my husband, who I love more than any of those girls will love the bachelor anything in the world, told me we were moving to a 6,000 acre farm with the nearest town having a total population of 400 ..I would say “no thanks!!”. prince farming may be easy on the eyes, but the miles of nothing but corn + soybean fields aren’t, for long. best of luck to the ladies of hollywood, chicago + D.C. ..you’re in for a rude awakening.
who is watching the bachelor tonight?
if you do, let’s talk about it @LLinaBC.